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making a great relationship

Fact of Love #8
Are you starting to feel like maybe your relationship isn't as good as you thought...or even worse...that it might be a really unhealthy relationship? Take the quiz to get familiar with the danger signs!
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Are We Right for Each Other?

How can you know if a person is right for you? How can you know if you should start, stay, or even break up? Anyone can have doubts. Sometimes it's just hard to know. Here is a quiz that may help.
  1. Does your relationship feel respectful and equal?

    Yes____  Not Really_____

    • Can you say what you want? Even if opinions differ?
    • Does your partner (boyfriend or girlfriend) show interest in what you have to say?
    • Does your partner show he or she cares about your feelings?
    • Are you happy with how you are treated? Are you treated as an equal?
    • Does your partner respect your boundaries and values?
  2. Is the attraction more than looks, status, money, or sex?

    Yes____  Not Really_____

    • Do you like him or her on many levels? Have fun together?
    • Can you be the real you? Are your important qualities appreciated?
    • Does your partner show by actions he or she wants to be with you and do things with you?
    • Do you have common interests and values? Do your differences mesh?
    • Is the chemistry and interest a two-way street?
  3. Do you trust each other and encourage each other?

    Yes____  Not Really_____

    • Do you trust each other to be faithful?
    • Can you give each other space? Balance time apart and time together?
    • Does your partner make you feel good about who you are and encourage your interests and goals?
    • Is it comfortable, fun, and interesting to be together?
If you were able to easily answer yes in each area, you two are probably a good match. You've got the building blocks of a healthy relationship!

But, I still don't know...

What if you checked "Not Really" to some or all the questions above? Here are some additional True and False questions. If you answer honestly, you'll definitely have your answer:

True or False?

  1. My partner (boyfriend or girlfriend) does not encourage me to grow and better myself.
  2. I am put down, criticized, or called names, in private or in public.
  3. My partner makes me feel stupid and makes fun of me in mean ways.
  4. I feel I am not good enough.
  5. I think I can change him or her and believe I'm the only one who can.
  6. The relationship feels like more work than fun. It's me making all the effort.
  7. I know I am changing who I really am to get or keep him or her.
  8. I worry a lot that he or she will dump me or cheat on me.
  9. Being with this person makes me look good, and that's why I'm staying in the relationship.
  10. I'm settling, but if I don't I won't have anyone.
  11. My partner tells me who I can or can't see or where I can go.
  12. My partner is super jealous.
  13. My partner always has to win an argument, be right.
  14. I do things I don't want to because I don't want to lose him or her.
  15. My partner ignores me. We see each other only when he or she wants to.
  16. Communication is bad. We don't manage anger and conflict well, yet my partner insists there is no problem.
  17. One of us has serious problem behaviors but refuses to work on them.
  18. I secretly feel that without sex, there would be no relationship.
If you answered True (even to just one or two of these statements), there is a good chance this person and this relationship is not worth it! In fact, it is probably a good time to take a break from relationships. Build up your confidence and yourself. Set a goal and get to work on it. Make the focus be on your best self.
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