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making a great relationship

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If you or someone you know experience any danger signs it's important to seek support and help. Check out www.loveisrespect.org or call the Teen Dating Violence Helpline at 1-866-331-9474 for advice, even if you're just questioning behavior that you're worried about.

Real Danger Signs

So, you might be thinking this is not the best relationship, but do you know the signs of real danger? Many good-hearted people have gotten attached unknowingly, only to find out they are in real danger. Know the warning signs:

Your partner (boyfriend or girlfriend)...

  • Puts you down, calls you names, and makes you feel stupid.
  • Texts you constantly, checks your cell phone, or invades your Facebook page.
  • Checks up on you constantly.
  • Tries to control where you go, what you wear, or what you say.
  • Keeps you from seeing friends or family. Tells you who you can talk to.
  • Pressures you to get serious too fast.
  • Pressures you relentlessly for sex.
  • Scares you.
  • Threatens you or threatens to hurt himself or herself if you leave.
  • Hits you, injures you.
You are...
  • Losing your confidence.
  • Afraid to upset him or her.
These are serious warnings -- even ONE OF THESE signs! Some people whose frustrations have spilled over into a shove or slap need better communication skills and strategies to handle disagreements or anger. But others who slap or shove have more serious problems that are dangerous. They want to totally control their partner and desperately fear abandonment. These sorts of abusers can start off as charming and even be a bit of Jekyll and Hyde. Getting attached to this kind of person is dangerous.

Remember: EXPECT RESPECT! Do not tolerate even the littlest bit of disrespect. Being called names, made to feel stupid, being shoved, slapped, or grabbed is NOT part of a healthy relationship -- no matter if you see other couples doing it and no matter if it's a girl or a guy doing it. The higher your standards are at the start, the better your relationship will be later on.

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